LAS VEGAS --
Jaws were dropping across our
nation as former Texas governor George W. Bush stood behind a podium
before the assembled press and channeled his inner self-entitled,
obnoxious, snotty frat boy side this morning at a news conference
following his second successful election theft.
Bush the Lesser preened and gloated like the Deke brother of old -- the
one upon which the character Bluto Blutarsky in the comedy masterpiece
"Animal House" is heavily rumored in large part to have been based --
but with the affable veneer stripped away.
The Doc thinks it was intentional -- after all, for all their talk of
redemption and forgiveness, nothing pleases most American Ecangelical
Bible-beaters more than watching one of their own, "knowing" that he's
right and anyone else who hasn't been baptized in
Falwell-Robertson-Dobson Kool-Aid is not only wrong and damned but in
their minds rightfully ripe for hatred.
First, Junior dutifully read the carefully prepared text that Karl Röve
had crafted for his insipid victory dance. Here are the key spin points:
"I will reach out to every one who shares our goals." Translation: "I
will show no mercy to anyone -- that means YOU TOO, Lincoln Chaffe, you
unloyal little sh!t -- I said, to anyone who isn't with My program of
transferring wealth to the rich with so-called tax cuts, Social Security
piratization, turning the nation's intelligence agencies into "filters"
for selective facts that will justify the use of advanced weapons
systems, politicizing the federal bench with the worst kind of judicial
extremists, and opposition to anyone who blocks having the entire
apparatus of the federal government evangelized to dear, sweet
Jaaaay-zus! Halle-friggin-luyah!"
"We'll stay strong and resolute." Translation: "We don't care about
facts. Doctrine rules. Besides, it's easier than thinkin'."
"I've got the will of the people at my back." Translation: "Go Cheney
yourself, Democrats. I've got a mandate."
Mandate?
What mandate, you egomaniacal little chucklehead?
Let me quote a few choice facts, courtesy of the very erudite Chris
Bowers over at mydd.com:
ONE: As of 2:44 PM Vegas Standard Time, according to CNN.com, a total of
56,142,999 have voted AGAINST you. That is the largest number of people
to have ever voted AGAINST a president in history.
TWO: You "won," if it is in fact to be believed that you won, with 51%
of the popular vote. If that percentage were, say, 61%, even I could
understand the claim that you have a mandate. Chris Bowers is right, you
self-important chucklehead: "1% more than 50% is not a mandate but a
bare, thin, majority."
And not much of one, at that.
THREE: Before September 11th, 2001, your F-score was in the mid-forty
percent range. You were losing the support and trust of your own party.
Then, after my home city was attacked by a gang of Saudi mass murderers,
your F-score hovered around 80%. Bowers pointed out that two years ago
the pundits practically guaranteed you'd win by a landslide. Now, only
half of the people in this country who bother to get out and vote
support you.
FOURTH: Again, I quote Bowers -- "A president who leads a divided
country owes it to all Americans to lead fairly or have his party face
the consequences begining in 2006. No one else is here to blame."
Chris Bowers' blog at mydd.com, by the way, is one of The Doc's
favorites. He's as smart as Betty Bowers (
http://www.bettybowers.com) is
hilarious.
But I digress...
This condescending cretin who styles himself a "pop'lur wartime Preznit"
replied to very first query from a reporter, "I'm gunna start enforcing
the one-question rule. That was three questions."
Slick move, Chimpacabra.
It sounded like the sort of lame joke that he and Röve probably cooked
up before his so-called press conference,
but his delivery was dripping
with contempt thicker than Virgil's BBQ Rib Sauce and nastier-tasting
than a warm Lone Star.
Heck, it's no secret that this phony "president" hates the press
. He
hates answering questions. Accountability is anathema to Mr. Bush, a son
of privilege who tipped his deck and showed us what we can expect for
the next four years: a haughty, narcissistic, insufferably boorish
little man whose song and dance may play in Sugarland -- but is an
embarrassment to the entire nation.
He would've served his own interests better by ducking the press
conference -- an art he has honed over the last forty-five months -- and
keeping a sock in it.
'Nuff said.
-------=======+++++++=======-------
Dave "Doctor" Gonzo is a maverick media producer, political pundit, beer
connoisseur, Web developer, music critic and snowboard hooligan. He
splits his time between his heavily fortified luxury apartment compound
in Manhattan, his best buddy Stiggs's party crash pad in Vegas, and his
girlfriend's cabin 70 yards from one of Colorado's ski meccas.
editors@apj.us
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