Editor's Note:  Yes folks, this story is political satire. You may have been confused because Google picked it up from Axis of Logic and reported it as fact in Google News.  But Donald Rumsfeld, George Tenant and others in the Bush regime are being charged with war crimes in Germany and that story is serious. However, we do not expect anything more than a media sideshow from that story either.  Enjoy the political satire below, but for the other story, read: Rumsfeld, et. al. Charged with War Crimes in Germany  - Editors

The first photograph released since the arrest of the American President in Ottawa earlier. In the traditional orange prison overalls and shackles, Mr Bush seems to be glowering with anger. His name and intake identity number appear on the front of the jumpsuit. 

11/30/04 - Ottawa -- Canadian authorities have arrested US president George W. Bush in Ottawa. He has been charged with several offences under Canada's War Crimes Act. Vice-President Dick Cheney has mobilized the American military and all border crossings between the two nations have closed. Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin has urged for calm in a short radio and television broadcast to the Canadian people immediately after the arrest. Part of the Prime Minister�s broadcast is included here: 

"This decision was not made lightly. But, it was also a decision that was impossible not to make. The United States is not outside the rule of law, and cannot expect to get an unlimited 'free pass'. This decision puts a grave strain upon both our nations, and I urge calm and restraint from our American neighbours, as well as from Canadians. I have met with the cabinet, and with our colleagues in the House. This is a time of great crisis for us as a nation. But as people, we will survive this test. Earlier I enacted the Emergency War Powers Act. This is necessary to guarantee our domestic security. This is not a time for panic, for lawlessness, for anything other than a responsible and sobre focus on what lies immediately ahead." 

Prime Minister Martin also said, "President Bush has been arrested under the Canadian War Crimes Act and the charges against him are being processed. He is being treated in accordance with the Geneva Convention and he will be treated fairly." 

Reports from the White House say there is absolute chaos as frantic phone calls and meetings are held to deal with this crisis.

Speculations on the American response run the spectrum from one analyst's prediction of an all out American invasion of Canada to a more restrained pin-point rescue mission of the President. Whatever course of action is decided upon all experts are in agreement that the war in Iraq has so weakened the American military that it could be some days before the United States is ready to field a large scale military response. 

Meanwhile, in New York, the Secretary General of the United Nations Kofi Anan has urged for calm, and British Prime Minister Tony Blair has been in almost constant contact with NATO leaders and President Putin of Russia. 

A Britney Spears concert which had been scheduled to occur this evening in Ottawa has been postponed. A spokesman for the entertainer said that Ms. Spears was concerned for the President's wife and two daughters. The spokesman also said that Ms. Spears would be praying for the president. 

President Bush had been due to attend an Ottawa luncheon when the arrest occurred. Witnesses at the scene said that utter havoc erupted as the arrest was carried out. 

Earlier in the day things seemed to be going smoothly on this first visit to Canada by President Bush. The President's private jet, Air Force One, had landed at the Ottawa International airport amidst intense security. Only a few protestors were on hand at the airport to welcome the President. 

Authorities had been expecting moderately sized protests in downtown Ottawa, but the fine weather and unseasonably warm temperature brought an estimated three hundred thousand demonstrators out on to the streets. 

From the airport the President's motorcade drove directly to the Ottawa Convention Centre. 

The moment that President Bush stepped from his limousine a group of RCMP officers, who had been standing guard, grabbed the President and proceeded to place him under arrest. A gunfight broke out with the President's secret service bodyguard. In the short exchange of gunfire two bystanders were killed and another three slightly wounded by flying debris. The RCMP were able to quickly subdue the American agents, and they have been detained in a separate facility. Separate fire arms related charges are pending. 

According to Canadian Justice Department officials the President faces a lengthy list of offences. 

Canada's War Crimes Act was designed to hold foreigners accountable for their complicity or involvement in a vast array of war crimes. 

George Bush is being charged not only as the civilian head of government of the United States, but also as the commander in chief of the United States Armed Forces. This position could bring with it even more serious consequences, but he will not face the death penalty. 

Under both Canadian and International War Crimes law George Bush is being charged with genocide, torture, murder, and the most strong of all war crimes, the crime of war of aggression. 

The United Nations position on the illegality of the Iraq invasion has been known for sometime, but sceptics believed that the UN would fail to be able to bring America to account.

Copyright: PKJ - pkj@pkj.ca